In the middle of a depressive episode and writer’s block, Bitch Magazine commissioned me to write a piece on stan culture for their “Legacy” issue, marking the 25th anniversary of their first publication. The last thing I wanted to do was write about my experience getting harassed by Ariana Grande and her abusively obtuse and obsessed stanbase but I knew it was a story that needed to be told.

The misplaced and normalized aggression and the constant popularity contest have given rise to a poisonous subculture of fandom where violence is acceptable if it’s done in the name of a celebrity you love. It’s tragic that what used to be a safe haven for so many has turned into something utterly alarming and sometimes traumatizing.

Conflating constructive criticism with hatred is not only wrong, but extremely dangerous and damaging. Criticism is how we encourage growth and positive change, while shame and hatred serve to stifle both. It’s irresponsible for celebrities to use their platforms to perpetuate the idea that any and all criticism is nothing but a personal attack that serves no value.

Read more at Wear Your Voice.

The intensely negative reaction to Wu vocalizing her frustration is rooted in her identity as an Asian-American woman. Popular media and social structures still code Asian women as being submissive, delicate, soft-spoken and respectful. As visible Others, we’re faced with nasty consequences when we refuse to conform to the one-dimensional ideals projected onto us. 

Ariana Grande’s reaction to being called out for cultural appropriation was immature and disappointing. Instead of listening to criticism with empathy, Grande reacts from her sensitive ego, reminding us that she is, at the end of the day, a wealthy white woman with a ton of privilege and a deep spray tan.

As a Filipina woman and survivor of sexual violence, I was hesitant to engage with Taylor Swift’s countersuit alleging sexual assault, especially given her status as Queen Becky of the White Feminists. From her “girlsquad” of thin, able-bodied, cishetero women, to accusing Nicki Minaj of tearing women (read: Swift) down while Minaj called out racism, Swift only ever cries feminism when it benefits her.